A GREAT PATNER IN LIFE....are you one of them?

I love making a fine family and will always cherish this remains the main topic that I write more.

Where’s lots more to life than scented candles. And yet having someone to love is probably the most important thing that will ever happen in your life. So what does it take to be a great partner?

Surprisingly little, actually. So get on with it! It all starts with real commitment and unconditional love – accepting your partner the way they are. OK, I know that life is hard, and promising to be with someone all your life sounds completely impractical, even dishonest, especially with divorce statistics the way they are.

But make a sincere choice to stick with your partner no matter what.

It makes such a difference to a relationship that you must do it, even if only one day at a time!
And tell the truth to each other! The truth’s very sexy, and creates trust, respect, and a deep romantic bond between you. So make it a priority in your lives together.

Even if you can’t tell the truth to anyone else.

Lies create huge barriers in a relationship, even if your partner never finds out about them. Make clear agreements between you – and keep them. So if you’re expected home, be on time, and call if you’re going to be late. Keeping promises shows respect for your partner, and builds a sense of trust and security.

Successful relationships give far more appreciation than criticism. So if you really value your relationship, start appreciating now! Notice what’s good about your partner. Like when she’s doing a good job as a parent. Or his dedication to his job. Whenever you spot something that you like, say it out loud. It’s difficult to appreciate your partner during an argument. So start during the good times. Then it’ll be easier when things are stressful.

You can either choose to be "right" – or you can have a relationship. You can’t have both. Most people say "If you loved me, you’d..." But it doesn’t work. In a healthy relationship you each have your way of looking at things and you learn from both.

Want more romance? Then take the initiative! It’s no good wanting your partner to change – you’re much more likely to get what you want if you do it first. So create your own romantic mood – music, sensuous food – and your partner will soon want to join in the fun!
Does your partner really know that you love them? Probably not. So tell them! Show them with little gifts, running a bath, tidying up or doing the dishes. Or by just sitting together and enjoying each other’s company. And you can’t really love your partner unless you love yourself. So spend a little time each day recognising the good things in yourself. Your appearance. Your abilities.

Whether you’re a celebrity or an everyday guy, your partner wants to be proud of you. So you should be too! And as you love yourself more, your love for your partner will grow.
Be there for your partner when they get home. Smile and be welcoming. And it’s the little things that count! So make your partner feel loved by making her tea. Or giving him a massage when he’s had a bad day. And listen. Really listen – it can be magical for both of you. Don’t feel you have to fix all the problems, it’s the listening that makes the difference.

And don’t expect your partner to be perfect.

Unrealistic expectations create disappointment and anger in any relationship. And changing your partner won’t improve things – you’ll just get a new and different set of frustrations! So try to set standards that are practical. Like it’s unfair to expect to be lavished with possessions if that leaves the love of your life worrying how to pay the rent. And do ask for what you want nicely.

Whining, demanding and manipulating destroys romance and trust. So use clear, but kind and loving words. Once or twice. Then leave things for another time.
If you’re unhappy with your partner, try not to take everything personally. Most of the time it’s either a misunderstanding or a tough day. And ask yourself whether the situation is similar to others from your past – which might mean that it’s got nothing to do with your partner at all! Thinking about your past can help you understand why you’re sensitive about an issue, and how you can fix it so that your relationship gets better.
Do your arguments degenerate into abuse? Fights, insults and name calling? That’s something you must deal with. Everyone argues – that’s OK –

but decide as a couple that from now on there’ll be no more abuse.

And that if either partner breaks the agreement, there’ll be very serious consequences.
If you’re on the receiving end, set up clear boundaries – what’s OK and what’s not – and stick to them. It can be hard, especially if you’re not used to expressing yourself. You have a right to be angry about abuse, and to say so. Abusers on the other hand are often driven by fear rather than the anger they’re actually showing. So the best way to end abuse is to learn better ways of expressing your emotions to one another.
Is your partner fiercely independent? Then help them feel they’re freer with you than they could ever be with anybody else! They won’t meet your every need – so think about your priorities.

What exactly do you want out of the relationship? Commitment? Respect? Honesty? Affection? Passion? Security?

Understand what you want most and just ask for that. Nothing else.
And don’t sweat the small stuff! Punctuality, safety precautions and such stuff just don’t work for someone who likes to flow through life. So choose your battles wisely. If they’re 15 minutes late, just go with it. But if they’re hours late picking you up at night from a bad neighbourhood? That’s serious – and you should express your anger.
Get to know what motivates them. Their deepest needs and fears. Be accepting and open-minded. Always give them the benefit of the doubt. The better you know them, the less you’ll be bothered by their behaviour. And they’ll feel like you’re the only person they can be themselves with.
Someone who values their independence will really test your tolerance. You’ll need to decide early on whether you can cope – and then to trust them completely. Sure, you might get hurt. But you might also capture the heart of someone who brings a touch of magic into your life.
But whatever else you do, work hard at your relationship. Don’t treat it as something to be discarded whenever the going gets tough. Learn together – and you’ll end up with something more precious than gold.

do I write more?